There are times when I am truly amused with myself. The extreme contradictions in me, my obssession with encryption, my vehement and lingering anger, my madness with myself.. All make me feel that I'm changing faster than my sense of comprehension. Not only does a change include novel precepts, but also a change in proximity with the near and 'fear' ones.
Probably, this proximity is my strength. Not only do I find a solitary ecstasy, but also, I am free from the pangs of betrayal, bitterness, hypocrisy, pretence, exploitation and all similar work.
I feel different. I always felt so. Yet I stop to wonder if I actually am.
I look upwards and aim for the sky. I feel I might not ever scale such heights: but at least, I can bask in its resplendent power.. lust at it's grandeur.
I cannot feel melancholy the way others can, and I wonder how I should feel about that.
The hungry man by the street does not arouse extreme sympathy in me. May be because I have never been that hungry or may be that I feel that his once appeased apepite should have exhorted him to work and prevent such plight.
I believe in sunshine when I wake up.. and in waiting for sunrise when I close my eyes.
Probaby the beauty of my dreams are pacific.
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